Betsy vs. The Color Brown

I personally have nothing against the color brown. What I hate about the color BROWN is that I already AM brown. I have light olive skin-no rosy cheeks, just plain ivory-beige. I have ordinary dark brown hair (but not brown black) - just middle brown. It's starting to pinstripe up pretty nicely. My eyes are weird-they are light brown-close to hazel, with a lot of yellow in them. Not those pretty dark brown eyes that glow or snap.

If I wear brown, I am a monochromatic mess. My face feels dirty. I don't sparkle. Put me in boring navy---boo-yah! I LOVE it. Red? Love it. Black? Bring it on!!! Brown? Holy God, put some makeup on, girl.

This also applies to anything remotely yellow or orange, and some greens. My relationship with green is kind of weird. I spent many many years wearing a green uniform. I'm actually fine in green, I just don't wanna wear it.

People have sworn that I need a pair of brown shoes. I find this puzzling. People who don't wear brown don't need brown shoes. I personally need black, blue, and an occasional smattering of cordovan. Pretty simple. Grey shoes are great.

We all know what happens when people wear colors they shouldn't. If you have a copy of the latest (mumblemumble) catalog, take a look. You know the one-where the lady uses her staff as catalog models? Nice idea, but it didn't translate to print very well.

So, to clarify my position on the color brown-BROWN IS A VERY NICE COLOR FOR OTHER PEOPLE. If YOU like brown, I've left you plenty on the rack. You should thank me for being so nice to you. I've been this way since 1980. Don't bother trying to talk me into brown. It won't work, and I don't have the shoes to go with brown clothing anyhow. HAHAHAHA.