Thursday, October 29, 2009

I smell like the subway. Or a show barn.

I'm up early today. The toaster oven is on, and I have a date with the Gorton's Fisherman in about 20 minutes.

I have to go to the doc's today, and I am anxious. I have a few things to ask him, one being "Did you mean to send me home with no antibiotics?" Let's just say I DON'T feel the greatest. My staples still catch fire.

This catheter business has got to go. Last Friday, before DH busted me out of the hospital, one of the nurses sat down with me, and showed me how to remove the cable structure from mine, to replace it with a new one. She bundled up a new Foley kit, and away I went.

A few nights ago, I broke out the new kit. 'Professionals should empty bag,' proclaim the nice people from Bard. There are many patient advisories all throughout the package. One thing I DON'T find is a pictogram on how to switch out assemblies. (I KNOW it isn't shop class, allright?)

It occurs to me to wonder who gives drugged out women instructions on how to empty and swap out their own catheters before sending them home for a week. And I realize that I break the sterile seal by switching assembly A to the business that's hanging out of my underpants. According to the advice given to me by my medical professional.


I know it's not optimum. I know it's not even close. I'm not leaving the doc's until I can leave the foley assembly in his trash. THAT I know.

On the plus side, I haven't had to cook or clean house all week. My DH has done a decent job, and I can't complain, but will anyhow. He made fishsticks last night (I know, I wanted more when I got up) and was looking for tongs to flip them. Unless they are totally DONE, that's a sure way to have them fall apart.

He watches far too much TV. Just get a spatula and flip them already, mmkay? He did a little foot stomp, and found a spatula. I think I messed with his inner Betty Crocker.

Wish me luck today.


Cindy G said...

Good Luck!

Enid said...

I thought about you all morning today!! I hope it all went well.

smariek said...


I hope you're feeling better.

Maybe you should give him a stack of take out menus.