Friday, March 27, 2009

Springtime: Dama Bianca and the fireants

I usually buy the Wednesday paper-that's when they publish the food section. This week was no exception, and a recipe for a salad called Dama Bianca caught my eye. I don't think I could have missed it-it took up half a page. I love Insalata Caprese (tomato and mozzerella), so Dama Bianca sounded just dandy. It was time to try fennel, too. I've never tried it; it's not like it grows all over the place in East Cupcake.

I drove and drove and drove to buy fennel and salmon (smoked, the Alaska way!) for dinner. The salmon was good. The salad was a LOT of fennel. DH made an awful lot of "Well, now we know what that tastes like" noises. Which is husband for "please don't make this again."

We finally got rain this week, and spring is in the air. The fire ants are shaking off their boots and getting ready to celebrate Fiesta with the rest of south Texas. I heard one of my favorite ads today:

There's nothing good about Fire Ants. They don't pollinate your roses They don't make cute little sounds when they rub their legs together. All they do is build a big mound in your yard and bite the hell out of anyone who gets near it. That's it. That's their sole contribution to mankind.

And that's why they have to die. It's that simple. You cannot rehabilitate a fire ant. You have to kill him, his little red friends, and that big fat queen down there making more fire ants. Oh, you could lug a big sack of chemicals and a garden hose around the yard, but that's about as fun as getting bit in the first place. No, what you need is Antstop Orthene Fire Ant Killer from Ortho. You put two teaspoons of Antstop around the mound and you're done. You don't even water it in.

The scout ants track it back into the mound -- and here's the really good part -- everybody dies, even the queen. And while there's joy in all creatures living in harmony, it's nothing compared to wasting fire ants. Now that's a rush. Antstop Orthene Fire Ant Killer from Ortho. Kick Fire Ant butt.

These ads have been playing for about 10 years, oddly enough, I could only find one audio clip, so I'll link it. In case you haven't had the pleasure.


kellygirl said...

Your description of DH chomping and commenting on the fennel had me ROFLMAO. I did the exact same thing with a salad and DH did the same thing--only he was much more blunt and said this isn't something he'd ever want to repeat. Tom's of Maine used to have a fennel flavored toothpaste that I used to love--now I use Crest Sensitivity (for sensitive gums.) Thanks for the laugh!

Sounds like Fire Ants aren't something you want to mess with.

junior_goddess said...

My DH knows better. While he made it clear that he didn't like it, he knows that technically, I made a good dinner. If he says it's a keeper, well that's one thing. He knew I drove 70 miles for the ingredients. He knew I was making the effort. And he knew to shut the hell up.


Cindy G said...

The dinner sounds great, but what I really love are your blue and white dishes!

Normally I try to stay away from putting too many poisons in my yard, but I've got to admit that fire ants would have me reaching for the Ortho.

Anonymous said...

I admire you for going to such lengths to get fennel. It would have to be a very special occasion to make me go that far - plus, I find fennel too sweet to play salty. Alaska smoked salmon, yum!
Love your dishes, too...


smariek said...

I can't believe how far you have to go to pick up some fennel and salmon.

I've never had the pleasure of meeting a fire ant, thank goodness.